Before I say anything, I need to say this: Only by the grace of God and His strength in me am I taking this leap of faith. My deepest hope is that HE is glorified.
I find it very fitting that we started a series called “30 Days to Live” tonight at church. A night when I announced a decision that I can honestly say I never thought I’d be making at this point in life. I announced that I would be leaving my church. Our church is officially just over a year old and never did I think I would be leaving so soon, for a long time I didn’t even consider the thought of ever leaving. But, as is usually the case, God has different plans.
I made that decision two and a half weeks ago and it will no doubt rock my world. It will take me away from my church, from my “family,” and from some of the people I have done ministry with for seven years. It means stepping farther outside my comfort zone than I ever have before and truly trusting. I mean, sure, I’ve always said, “I trust God, He’s got it under control.” But, I’ll be honest, my life didn’t often reflect that. I held tightly on to as much control as I could. I made my plans. I followed my plans. I always had a plan.
All the while, I would admire and be slightly envious of those who had the courage to live their God-given dreams, to go when He said go, who fully and completely trusted God with their lives. I would think to myself, “someday, I’m going to live that way…someday.”
Well, the day has come. God has been stirring in my heart for quite some time now a discontentment, a discontentment that He wanted to use to push me forward. I successfully ignored this whisper from God until it got so loud that I couldn’t any more.
That was two months ago. Two months ago I started seriously and prayerfully considering whether or not God was calling me away from my church and onto a new chapter. Those two months were not fun. Wrestling with God is painful! But, He has given me clarity & peace. I believe with all of my being that God is telling me to go. I don’t know exactly where yet or to what, but the fact that He is saying go is loud and clear.
For most people, knowing you only have 30 days to live would change how you live, what you do, who you see, where you go, etc. I’m incredibly grateful that God is moving in my heart to take those risks now, to re-prioritize before it’s too late. Believe me, I know it’s going to be a bumpy ride. The next year will likely be an especially painful molding process. But, I’m so excited for the end result.
“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” Ephesians 3:20-21