Tag Archives | suffering

Throwback Sundays…Another Kind of Resurrection

March 18, 2012 in Throwback Sundays

But my pastor also pointed out something else that hit hard: Jesus let Lazarus die before he raised him. He could have healed from his sickness before he died. But He didn’t. You see, while God is the ultimate healer He is also in the business of restoration. And oftentimes that means death before new life. Resurrection simply cannot occur without death. It’s impossible. (full post here)

Even though the whole idea of death before life is still hard to swallow at times it also still gives me comfort. Comfort in the death knowing that new life is on the other side.
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Art & Pain

August 22, 2011 in Creativity, Deep Thinking

What is the relationship between art & pain?

Gary Molander posed that question a few months back on his blog & it’s been bouncing around in my head ever since.

I believe that pain may be one of the greatest catalysts for art we will ever know. When we feel pain we are alive. And pain most often leads to brokenness. There, our hearts are exposed. And we create from a place of vulnerability & truth. A place of honesty where we get out of own way. Where our masks have been shed & we have less to protect.

We create in those moments because we can’t not create. Because we know of no other response than to paint or write or dance or sing. And the result is art that embodies brokenness & grace. Suffering & joy. Redemption & restoration. Art that cries out desperately for the Kingdom that is to come but that lives in the hope of the Kingdom that is here.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that many of history’s great artists also suffered much. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that artists are stereotypically “emotional” or “moody.” I think God has wired artists to feel more intensely than most & He’s given us that as a gift to propel us to create. To create art that reflects His constant work of creating beauty out of our ashes…wholeness from shattered pieces…life from pain.

Do you think there is a relationship between art & pain?

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To Hurt is to Be Alive

August 17, 2011 in Deep Thinking, Just Life

Pain. A word that has as many connotations as there are people. And a word that I think often gets a bad rap.

Physical pain has been a very real, very constant presence in my life over the last five and a half years. But I’ve learned to live with it. I know what I can do to ease the pain until it passes knowing that tomorrow will be better. And I can press on without it consuming me.

But physical pain is nothing compared to emotional pain. I’m learning lately that the more layers you peel back of yourself, the more masks you shed, the more vulnerable you are, the more you risk in relationships & interactions with others, the more pain you are inviting in. It’s only natural. Not until your heart is exposed & open can it be hurt.

But I would also argue that not until your heart is exposed & open can it really truly feel. And if it can’t truly feel it can’t truly be alive. To be alive is to feel. To hurt is to be alive.

I’m learning that out of pain often comes deep joy. A joy that is chosen based on facts not fleeting feelings. A joy that is founded on the Unchanging. A joy that is unexplainable…that leads to an equally unexplainable peace.

I’m beginning to think I’m willing to endure the pain if it means being alive. If it means having an unspeakable unending joy. Because I want a heart that is open. A heart that can feel. A heart that’s alive. One that breaks for the broken. Hurts for the hurting. Rejoices with the celebrating. And one that can love, deeply & well.

These two thoughts have been rolling around in my head as I’ve been pondering this whole idea of pain:

God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It’s his megaphone to rouse a deaf world. – C.S. Lewis

You must submit to supreme suffering in order to discover the completion of joy – John Calvin

 

What’s your take on pain? Is it a welcomed presence in your life?

 

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The Twenty #10 – Why Church is Irrelevant for Me

April 28, 2011 in Church, Deep Thinking, Just Life

I’ve gone back and forth on this post for several weeks. Written. Rewritten. Completely started over. Something about saying that church is irrelevant just hasn’t sat quite right with me.

But then I realized that perhaps it was the reasons I had claimed church was irrelevant that weren’t sitting quite right with me. A conviction that the reasons I had written about shouldn’t make church irrelevant.

Thinking back on the last 5 years of my life I finally admitted to myself that church is irrelevant for me because oftentimes it seems to brush aside pain. It wants to overlook our weakness in suffering. Yes, it’s tempting to preach a Gospel that will cure all pain & suffering but it’s false.

Pain & suffering are a fact of life. In fact God makes it pretty clear in Scripture that we will experience them here on earth. Sure they seem to set up camp more in the lives of some than others, but they leave a mark on every single one of our lives in some way. Yet despite that, something in our human nature wants to hide them…to pretend they don’t exist.

And when a church tries to claim that faith will take away all pain that’s when it becomes irrelevant for me. Because I know otherwise. I’ve experienced otherwise. It took years of physical pain & suffering to really drive this home for me but I get it now…at least a little bit. I know that talking about pain and weakness is uncomfortable. I know it can hurt to see others in pain. But my prayer is that as a Church we can get past that. Because if we don’t I think there’s a lot of hurting people in the world that are going to see church as irrelevant for their lives.

What, if anything, makes church irrelevant for you?

Photo Credit: Sarah Jensen

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Seeing God in Healing

March 23, 2011 in Deep Thinking, Just Life

Three years ago I literally spent the entire month of March in bed…minus three trips to the ER to get fluids because I was so dehydrated. What started out as the stomach flu turned into severe dehydration, pneumonia, a sinus infection, and more. I was physically wrecked. I finally crawled out of bed on Good Friday and managed to make it to church that night and Easter Sunday. But I was in bad shape.

It’s amazing how deeply physical pain can affect us. For me, the pain and suffering of a physical disease messed with me emotionally and mentally in ways I’m still not sure I fully understand. And I’m realizing that that may be one of the mysteries of God I don’t get to understand in this lifetime…and I’m okay with that.

But, I firmly believe I needed it. I needed to be broken. I needed that perspective anchor in my life. I need to be put through the fire to be refined. Spun on the potter’s wheel and shaped and molded so I could serve His purpose for my life instead of mine.

God used that pain and suffering to change the direction of my life. I firmly believe that. It’s not that He wanted me to suffer but He allowed it to happen. And if for no other reason than to display His glory.

Three years later and my disease is for all intents and purposes inactive. The pain I do have is minimal compared to that which I lived with 2, 3, 4, 5 years ago. I can walk up multiple flights of stairs. I can walk up hills. I can walk more than half a block. I can get up off the floor. I can even run.

Just tonight I walked up large hills…multiple times. I walked around downtown Nashville for a good two hours. I climbed multiple flights of stairs. I sat on the ground and was able to get up again.

Three years ago I worried about going to the grocery store because many days that simple mundane task was a challenge. Today I’m counting down to a trip to China in May. In all of that God is glorified. Only by His strength, His healing, His faithfulness, did I make it through. In my weakness He is strong.

Gary Molander presented a challenge in a recent blog post. His challenge: to write a blog post that finishes the phrase “When I look back at today, I saw God when __________.”

Well, when I look back at today, I saw God…I see God…when I can physically do things that three years ago…even 2 years ago…some even a year ago….I couldn’t do. When I can walk around a city with friends I see His healing, His provision, and His love. And that physical healing has done a number on the healing of my heart too. Seriously, His goodness leaves me speechless.

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