Tag Archives: faith adventure

He’s Got This

source: www.hubblesite.org

I’ve understandably been having countless conversations lately about what’s next in life. People always ask “how are you doing with the transition?” And the majority of them are shocked when I say, “I’m wonderful!” And usually kindly demand an explanation. It honestly makes me a bit sad that people are so surprised to hear someone genuinely say they’re doing well.

My explanation is really quite simple and most of the time doesn’t seem to satisfy them. They think there has to be more to the story…something I’m not telling them. The popular speculation lately has been that I’ve got some secret wedding I’m planning. Like the only way I could possibly be filled with such joy right now was if I was “in love”

To set the record straight: I am not planning a secret wedding or anywhere remotely close to it! But, I am “in love.” I am in love with a God who created me and loves me and daily provides for me. A God who gave up the Son whom He loved because of His great love for me (and you). That fact right there makes me stop and smile. When I really stop and think about it that puts everything into perspective and joy naturally flows from that.

God in His grace is blessing me with an incredible and really unexplainable sense of peace and joy during this transition phase of life. I’ve been waiting (and still am) for that freak out moment to come. But it hasn’t…yet. The best part is: it’s completely against my nature. I’m not a risk-taker. I’m always very cautious. I like to be in control. By all human standards I should be freaking out right now…big time! But I’m not. And that means it’s all God and He gets every bit of the glory!

This song came on random shuffle on my iphone this morning:
“And the arms that hold the universe
Are holding you tonight
You can rest inside
It’s gonna be alright
And the voice that calmed the raging sea
Is calling you His child
So be still and know He’s in control
He will never let you go”
(Arms That Hold the Universe by Fee)

Stop and think about that for a minute. The God who created the amazing universe you see at the top of this post created and knows you. There’s no need to worry. He’s got this. Go on, be joyful, live life.

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An End. A Beginning. Or Something In Between.

Yesterday was officially my last day on staff at The CORE. I don’t want to let the day go by without a post, but I’ll be honest…words will fail to sum up the myriad of emotions going on inside my head and heart right now.

As I only begin to look back and reflect on the last two years one major thing jumps out at me. It is that one thing that will ultimately define my time at The CORE, my time in Appleton,WI, and the ministry that was my life the last two years. That one thing is relationships. At the end of the day, when I look back, when I look for lessons to take away, when I stumble upon memories that make me both laugh and cry, at the center of it all I find people. The relationships I have developed here are the reason I will always have a root that is planted in Appleton. And the way in which God orchestrated and used those relationships to teach me lessons and to pull me closer to Him leaves me in awe of Him once again.

For me it’s a great reminder that it really all does boil down to God’s simple command: Love Him, love others. When we take the time to dig down through the messy layers that the machine of ministry can sometimes pile on, I hope and pray we discover that loving God and loving others is really why we got into ministry in the first place.

In the days ahead there is definitely going to be some processing of a huge chapter of my life closing. But there will also be plenty of dreaming about the new chapter that is just beginning. And somewhere in between is today.

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These Are the Stories of a Girl (Writing Stories Pt 2)

I have been wrestling with this post all day…really all week. But, I said I would post it, so I’m going to keep my word. If you missed part one, you can check it out here for the background on this post. These stories are in no particular order and in fact I believe they are interwoven and depend on one another.

Bridge the Gap
Although I can’t quite put a finger on it or give it a Webster worthy definition, I’ve had a feeling in my heart for a while now that there is a gap in the Church. A gap between what the Church is and what God intended the Church to be. God has placed a burden on my heart for this gap and the impact it has on how we live as the Church. He’s waking me up to the realization that His people, His Church, needs to be awakened. I’m not sure what that looks like exactly, but I know WHY. I think that in many areas we have strayed far from God’s heart, from what is important to Him. And I think it’s time we find our way back to that. I feel like God is calling me to be a very small part of the solution, one small gap stander. But, before I can be a part of the solution He needs to wake my heart up a little bit more and better prepare me to stand in the gap. I have a feeling this is more of a life story, not one that is going to be anywhere near written in 2010…but I pray I’ll at least see the first chapter.

Experience the Church Outside of America
Fact: I haven’t been on a mission trip since high school. And none of those were international. I would definitely call the volunteer work I did during college local missions, and while that started the opening of my eyes, it isn’t enough. If I am going to help others see what’s possible outside of the box I have to step outside of the box myself first…far outside! This story is in motion…more on it later. I think this story is an important part in how the bridging the gap story is going to be carried out.

Invest in Relationships and Community
I wholeheartedly believe relationships are at the foundation of everything. At the end of the day it’s my relationship with God, with my Savior that matters. His command to us is centered around relationship – Love Him and love our neighbors. That simple…and also that important. But I’ll be honest, relationships don’t come naturally to me. I thoroughly enjoy serving people, hearing their stories, and showing them Christ’s love. But, truly investing in relationship and community means sharing my story and who I am. That is something I have never enjoyed doing because it requires trust, and I suck at trust. But, in this season of surrender, I feel God calling me to surrender all…my fear of trust is included. And so, I’m challenging myself to truly, authentically, and transparently invest in relationships.

Be Okay with Being a Creative Doer
Call me quirky, but I’m a “quote collector.” I’ve always loved them. I often have trouble finding sufficient words to describe what’s in my head, and oftentimes quotes do the trick. One I like is from Sarah Ban Breathnach who said, “The world needs dreamers and the world needs doers. But above all, the worlds needs dreamers who do.” Now, I’m  not so sure about the “above all” part, I think there is a reason God gifted us each differently and created us to work together. Some are created to be dreamers. Some are created to be doers. But I think there are some created to live in between those two worlds. And I feel like one of those. I honestly feel like there are two halves to me – the dreamer side and the practical organized (doer) side. For a long time I thought that creativity was limited to the dreaming, but I’ve come to realize that it can be just as linked to the doer side. I feel that for some reason I’ve held on so tightly to the dreamer side that I haven’t used the doer/implementer side as much as God created me to. And so, I’m on a mission to embrace that and to use it for His glory. This is another instance of “what that looks like I don’t know,” but something like getting behind the dreamers and serving behind the scenes to make their dreams a reality for the Kingdom.

Those are the stories God has placed on my heart in this season of life. Please feel free to hold me accountable to them, to ask me about them in conversation – virtual or otherwise.

What stories has God placed on your heart? I’d love to hear them!

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The Question Everybody is Asking

What are you going to do next? I cannot even begin to count the number of times I’ve been asked that question…and I’m sure there will be many more to come). And the number of different looks and reactions I get when I say, “I’m not really sure,” is almost as equally high.

And the truth is, I really don’t know exactly what I’m going to do next. But, there are a few things I do know…

I know that unless God opens a blinding door somewhere else I’ll be moving to Nashville at the end of the summer.

I know that I need a bit of a break from full time church staff work…but don’t want to turn my back on the “church world.”

I know that God is calling me to get out of my comfort zone and get a fresh perspective on life before I try to lead others out of theirs.

I know that I feel God is preparing me for something…and that preparation is going to be painful at times.

I know that I feel called to eventually serve the church on a larger scope rather than one local church.

I know that visual worship and creativity remain passions of mine.

I know that people and relationships are my heart.

In short I know WHY I’m making the decisions I’m making. In some cases I know how I’m going to put the WHY into action. But at this point for the most part I don’t know the what that will be the result, the “product.” And right now, I’m okay with that, because I trust that He does.

So, if you’re wondering, that’s what I’m doing next.

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Music to Dream On

Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. – Victor Hugo

Music inspires me. It has the power to make me stop and think, to be silent and listen. It also has the power to make me sing aloud at the top of my lungs like a fool while driving down the highway.

My life is a series of memories and experiences to which I can almost always attach a particular song. In fact, I have a playlist called “My Life’s Soundtrack” for those times when I’m feeling nostalgic and want to remember…remember where I’ve been, the lessons I’ve learned, the people I’ve met.

I’ve recently added a new playlist to my iTunes called “Living It.” I know as I embark on this adventure of faith and dreams over the next several months that there are going to be moments where I stop and freak out, where I become my own worst enemy. One of the things I do in those moments, is put on this playlist. But, right now, it’s too short..11 songs.

So, I’m hoping you can help me out. What songs would be on your “Living It” playlist. What music inspires you to not just dream your dream but live it?

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When God Says Go

Before I say anything, I need to say this: Only by the grace of God and His strength in me am I taking this leap of faith. My deepest hope is that HE is glorified.

I find it very fitting that we started a series called “30 Days to Live” tonight at church. A night when I announced a decision that I can honestly say I never thought I’d be making at this point in life. I announced that I would be leaving my church. Our church is officially just over a year old and never did I think I would be leaving so soon, for a long time I didn’t even consider the thought of ever leaving. But, as is usually the case, God has different plans.

I made that decision two and a half weeks ago and it will no doubt rock my world. It will take me away from my church, from my “family,” and from some of the people I have done ministry with for seven years. It means stepping farther outside my comfort zone than I ever have before and truly trusting. I mean, sure, I’ve always said, “I trust God, He’s got it under control.” But, I’ll be honest, my life didn’t often reflect that. I held tightly on to as much control as I could. I made my plans. I followed my plans. I always had a plan.

All the while, I would admire and be slightly envious of those who had the courage to live their God-given dreams, to go when He said go, who fully and completely trusted God with their lives. I would think to myself, “someday, I’m going to live that way…someday.”

Well, the day has come. God has been stirring in my heart for quite some time now a discontentment, a discontentment that He wanted to use to push me forward. I successfully ignored this whisper from God until it got so loud that I couldn’t any more.

That was two months ago. Two months ago I started seriously and prayerfully considering whether or not God was calling me away from my church and onto a new chapter. Those two months were not fun. Wrestling with God is painful! But, He has given me clarity & peace. I believe with all of my being that God is telling me to go. I don’t know exactly where yet or to what, but the fact that He is saying go is loud and clear.

For most people, knowing you only have 30 days to live would change how you live, what you do, who you see, where you go, etc. I’m incredibly grateful that God is moving in my heart to take those risks now, to re-prioritize before it’s too late. Believe me, I know it’s going to be a bumpy ride. The next year will likely be an especially painful molding process. But, I’m so excited for the end result.

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.”             Ephesians 3:20-21

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