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In the Middle of the Storm

March 15, 2012 in Deep Thinking, Just Life


The weather in Nashville this week has been Spring perfect – 80 degrees & sunshine until mid to late afternoon at which time thunderstorms roll in. Around 8pm the rain clears out & the perfectly cool Spring evenings take it’s place. The weather I’d have in heaven if it was up to me. :)

This week has also been challenging. I’ve been restless. Unfocused. Frustrated that I can’t grip life neatly in my two hands. But there’s been a reminder in the middle of every single one of those thunderstorms - there is beauty not just on the other side of but in the middle of the storm…of the restlessness, the frustration, the questions…if I will only seek it out.

Yes, beauty in, not just on the other side of. It’s easy to believe in beauty on the other side because it comes to us. It drops itself into our hands & becomes tangible. But beauty in the middle of the storm…in the hard places…it must be searched for, hunted down, & taken hold of. It requires choosing to believe, to rely on faith, & to call on hope with courage.

But, if I’m going to believe in a God who makes beautiful things out of the dust I have to believe in a God who makes beautiful things out of the falling building as it is in the process of crumbling to pieces. A God who promises not freedom from the storm but peace in the middle of it. Who offers hope in the middle of the hurt not just in the healing. Who makes the sun shine even as the rain comes pouring down. A God who says I know the journey is painful right now but I’m not going to let you walk it alone.

What beauty do you see the middle of your storm right now? Have you found it?

 

 

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The Mess

February 20, 2012 in Deep Thinking, Just Life

 

If there is one thing I’m reminded of daily it’s this: life is messy. It is a complex, multi-layered, spaghetti tangled, mess.

I’m discovering, though, that if I can accept that fact, I can see the beauty in the mess. And the beauty makes the mess bearable. I can even embrace it.

Embracing the mess means I stop waiting for life to get better & start living. Right now. In this moment. In the middle of broken relationships, tension at work, questions about faith, forgotten dreams, & health battles.

Accepting that fact…that life is messy…relieves a bit of the pressure to “fix it” or “get life in order.” I’m not saying we don’t try but we try knowing full well that we will fail. That we may rearrange the mess but we will never eliminate it. Because the mess…life…is so much bigger than us. But I also know that there is One who is bigger than the mess.

What mess are you embracing in your life in this moment?

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In Between

February 13, 2012 in Creativity, Deep Thinking, Just Life

What do you do with the space in between?
The space between your dreams & the perhaps not so shiny daily reality.
The seemingly large chasm between here & there.
Between what you want & what you have.
The gap between the life you were designed to live & the live you’re living.
What do you do with the space between a Kingdom that is here & not yet?
A hope that is realized & yet to come.
The gray space between the darkness & the light.
What do you do with the space in between? The kind of space that creates tension. 

I think we usually do one of three things:

  1. Make a choice. Pick one side or the other. Simply to alleviate the tension.
  2. Attempt to run out of the space in a completely different direction.
  3. Wait. Sit in the space. Accept the tension. And wait.

Number one often leads to poor choices that we end up wishing we could hit the rewind button on at some point. The second often leads to the same thing. Before we know it the life we’re living looks nothing like the one we know we were created for. 

The third option? It may be the hardest & most immediately painful of all. But, I’m convinced it’s also the most rewarding. And even more than that, the tension of the space in between may be the birth place of some of our greatest creativity. 

So I encourage you to sit in the space. But don’t just sit there. Ask God to meet you in the space. Learn from it. And more importantly, fill it. Fill the space with beauty through your art. Extinguish the darkness with the light. You may just discover that the space was not as unwelcoming as you once thought…that it didn’t want you to stay anymore than you wanted to be there. And before you know it, you might look back to find that you’ve created your way out of it.

 What do YOU do with the space in between?

*** This post was inspired by the Luminous Project. Luminous is an event in Nashville for creatives on May 9-11, 2012. To find out more, check out luminousproject.com. You can use the promo code ‘luminousLOVE’ to get 30% off the ticket price. ***

 

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What Do You Do When You Don’t Want to See?

January 29, 2012 in Deep Thinking, Just Life

What do you do when you don’t want to see?

I honestly hadn’t thought about it. I hadn’t considered that there’d come a moment when I didn’t want to see. It’s one thing to be unaware…to not see because your eyes haven’t yet been opened to things. And that was a challenge I anticipated this year. But it’s another to have open eyes which you choose to close because you don’t want to see.

The introvert in me can become quite selfish in relationships. It reaches a breaking point at which it chooses to see no one but itself. It doesn’t want to see that there are other people who need connection even if it doesn’t. In those moments, I often choose not to see. I choose not to see because I don’t want to see. Seeing is particularly hard & messy in those moments. Seeing is exhausting in those moments. Seeing feels like taking one step forward only to take 4 giant leaps backwards.

This past week was one of me not wanting to see. Of more often than not choosing to close my opened eyes because seeing just felt too hard & I was tired of hard. Then I got a note from a dear friend. And I saw. I saw that I’d been refusing to see. Sometimes it takes being seen to make you realize you’ve been choosing not to see & I am grateful for friends who do just that for me – who remind me that I am seen even if I think I’m not…even if I try not to be.

Do you ever not want to see? What do you do in those moments?

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When January 16th Causes You To Reflect

January 16, 2012 in Deep Thinking, Just Life

It was January 16, 2006. It was a Monday – like today…January 16, 2012. It was the first day of classes for the 2nd semester of my Junior year of college. But I wasn’t in class. I was on a Midwest flight from Milwaukee home to Minneapolis for my grandfather’s funeral. 

As I walked through the airport that day I wasn’t sure I was going to make it all the way. I can remember praying in my head, “Lord, just don’t let me fall. If I fall I won’t be able to get back up.” 

I landed in Minneapolis late that afternoon & can vividly remember my dad saying “I guess there really is something wrong” as he had to help me climb up into his large pick up truck.

The previous week I had gone back & forth on phone calls with my doctors explaining to them that I had suddenly grown very weak. I could barely walk on a flat surface. Hills were extremely difficult. Stairs were nearly impossible. Even standing up from a chair was quite the tricky process. I convinced them I wasn’t paralyzed & they talked of CT scans, mammograms, & muscle biopsies to be sure there was nothing cancerous going on & to take a look at my muscle tissue.

Six years later I’m on a flight from my home in Nashville to Minneapolis. This time for a visit to my doctor at the Mayo Clinic. A visit where I have no doubt I’ll get a good report. Because while I still have some symptoms & still live with pain on a daily basis, six years later I’ve been to China & back. I’ve climbed the Great Wall. I have been able to go camping again. I walk on a regular basis, up & down hills…I even throw in a little jogging here & there. I climb two flights of stairs without any hesitation to get to my room these days. I don’t think twice about going out with friends.  All that to say, God has worked some incredible healing. 

And perhaps the best part is the heart healing He worked through the physical brokenness before He worked physical healing. God has no doubt used the journey of the last 6 years to shape me & mold me into the person I am today.

I watched a TED talk the other day about the difference between our experiencing-selfs & our remembering-selfs. An experience may be incredibly painful for our experiencing-self but because of a happy ending or worthwhile lesson our remembering-selfs don’t see it that way. And while my experiencing self in no way wishes to go back & relive the journey of the last 6 years, my remembering self reflects on them almost fondly & with deep gratitude. Because 6 years later I see that not only is there physical healing but the journey to physical healing was directly related to the journey to heart healing. 

Father, thank you for loving me enough to break me so that You could make me whole.

What brokenness has God used in your life to make you whole? 

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