Browsing Category: Creativity

Awkwardness: A Catalyst for Growth

For most of my life I have tried to avoid awkwardness with all my might to avoid. And to be honest, I still don’t necessarily “like” it per se. I often wish there was another way. But, I’m discovering that sometimes the best catalyst for growth in relationships, in myself, & in creativity is awkward moments…sometimes even whole seasons of them.

The friendships in my life that are the richest, have the deepest connections are oftentimes the ones that have had the greatest number of awkward conversations & awkward seasons. They’re rich because they are deeply honest. And they’re deeply honest because we’ve fought through awkward seasons & attacked the elephants in the room through conversation.

There’s something about fighting through awkwardness that leaves me just a bit more confident, slightly more sure of who I was created to be. It’s as if I’ve passed a test & now I can certify myself in some new skill chipping away just a bit more at self doubt that likes to creep its way in.

Awkwardness is often the result of tension & discomfort – both of which, I believe, are core components of some of our greatest creative labor. It causes us to wrestle, to question, to redefine, to live the work our art requires before we can produce something to share with the world. 

Chances are, I may never “like” awkwardness, but I’m trying to welcome it nonetheless. She may be a less than polite house guest – oftentimes arriving unannounced she seems to have an agenda of her own, but she earns her keep by doing her part in instigating growth. 

Where have you seen awkwardness as a catalyst for growth in your life? 

Comment Creativity, Deep Thinking, Just Life, Leadership, Relationships

I Want to Know…

 

“It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive. 

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it. 

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human. 

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy. 

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it’s not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence. 

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children. 

It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back. 

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away. 

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.” 

― Oriah Mountain Dreamer

A little inspiration as we start another week. I don’t know about you but I get lost in the rhythm & details of life without knowing it until it’s too late. I wake up to find I’ve abandoned adventure for certainty. That I’ve stopped seeing beauty. Given up on risk because it’s just too hard. I need to ask myself the questions this poem brings up often to remember who I was created to be & what I was created to do.

2 Comments Creativity, Deep Thinking, Just Life

What a TV Show Reminded Me About the Power of Art

“It’s the oldest story in the world. One day you’re 17 & planning for someday. And then quietly, without you really noticing, someday is today. And then someday is yesterday. And this is your life.” – One Tree Hill

One Tree Hill. I started watching the show in high school & didn’t miss an episode. I think I even owned the first couple of seasons on DVD at one point in time. Yes, I realize you may be laughing right now because, after all, to many the show is a teen soap opera. And I’ll admit, some of the story lines did indeed seem a bit overdramatic.

But, as I watched the series finale of the show this week I was close to tears. Over a fictionalized television show. And it struck me: this is why we create, this is the power of art.

The characters may be fictional, but their stories, the experiences, the heartaches, the tears, the laughter, the celebration, it’s real. Or at least grounded in reality. Because I can tell stories from my own life that would mimic them.

And on some level, I believe that is why we create – to know that we’re not alone, that we’re not crazy…to let others know they’re not alone & that they’re not crazy either. 

That is the power of art – of the stories woven into art. That TV show was more than just a story to me. It was my story…part of my story. I felt like I grew up with those characters, like I could relate to them & like we would be instant friends should we ever get the chance to have a conversation.

Art highlights those things in life which draw us together, the similarities in our stories that cross all sorts of lines drawn by the differences.

You know the other thing I noticed? The television writers didn’t have to tell me how to feel. They didn’t have to script out the meaning of the story or the lesson I was supposed to take away from it. No, they simply told the story. And the story did the talking. The story pulled me in on it’s own & let me take away from it what I would. And that is the power of art, a power that makes me feel. 

Comment Creativity, Deep Thinking

Learning to Say “Yes, But…”

I remember the conversation clear as day. I was working in my office at church when my pastor & our might as well have been staff volunteer walked in. “We have an idea!” they said with more than their usual excitement.

One sentence into sharing this idea my pastor stopped.

“Before I tell you what we’re thinking, I want to say this: I don’t need you tell me we can’t do it or why it’s not possible. I need you to figure out what we need to do to make it happen.”

Pretty sure my defenses went up & an argument followed. Looking back; however, I see the constructive criticism he was trying to give me: Filter before you give feedback. Stop being an idea squasher & instead figure out how to make ideas a reality. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t think I was creative or resourceful enough to make his vision come to life. Quite the opposite. But he needed me to believe in the vision enough to do the work to make it come to life. He needed me to be a solution finder not just a problem identifier. He was trying to help me see that I’d get a lot further in life if I learned how to say “yes, but…” rather than “no,” all of the time.

Apparently that lesson was an important one because it still sticks with me. That voice still plays in my head every time I’m asked to give feedback. And can I tell you, it makes a difference? “No” often raises defenses, “yes” on the other hand often raises respect. And saying yes is choosing to fight the problem as a team rather than fighting against the team about the problem. And I’d rather fight side by side with people than against them.

It’s taken me two & a half years & a lot of growth but I emailed that pastor, who I’m still honored to call a friend, the other night & thanked him. Thanked him for a lesson that 23 year old me may not have received or wanted but one that 26 year old me is deeply grateful for.

How do you respond when someone shares an idea with you?

Comment Creativity, Leadership

They Chose to Rewrite the Ending


“I’ll sing the song if you can play it on the guitar,” he said.

A google search later on a nearby iPhone & chords were in the guitar player’s hand.

“Let’s do it,” she said.

He stumbled through the first few notes…off-key & out of rhythm. Forgetting the words as he went. It was an embarrassing train-wreck in the making. A potential ego boost for the rest of the room.

But they chose to rewrite the ending of this story.

First the guitarist joined in, then the redhead on the couch, another “I love to sing but I’m not a singer” guy, next the long-haired blonde with an accent…soon the entire group was singing. A classic that had high school flashbacks playing in all of our minds.

Instead of embarrassment the ending was one of community. When he began to stumble…to lose the melody…the group quickly stepped in to carry him along for a bit. It may sound silly, but I see Jesus in these moments clear as day. His love & his life feel tangible for just a moment. 

I can’t guarantee you that all of those people in the room knew who Love is, but they certainly seemed to know what it means to live love. And I have a group of strangers to thank for helping me see Love just a bit more clearly…if even only for a moment.

1 Comment Creativity, Relationships