My name is Katie & I am an adventure addict. Any personality test I take will tell you I thrive on the spontaneous. That I get bored easily. That I’m not satisfied with status quo but rather individuality.
And all of those tests would be accurate. But can I be really honest? I am suffering from adventure fatigue.
Too often I feel like I am simply collecting experiences for the sake of experiences. Experiences are what shape & mold us, yes, but I’m beginning to believe that doesn’t happen without some curating.
We live in a culture that has encouraged in us a fear of missing out so we say yes to everything. But I’m beginning to fear missing out in a different way – the depth of life I miss out on because I want to keep my options open rather than committing to something.
I have a wide variety of interests & I’m a people pleaser. So naturally “no” is nearly non-existent in my vocabulary. But I’m wrestling with how to change that because my entire being is desperate to be whole. And I become more convinced that whole isn’t possible without saying no to a lot of things. A lot of good things. Maybe even some great things. All to create space for the best things – those I deeply value & am passionate about.
I am beginning to wonder what my life would be like if I became a curator of experiences rather than a collector. If I had an end goal in mind & those experiences were stepping stones rather than distractions.
But first, I have to do the work of figuring out what that end goal is. Endless adventure does a really good job of filling time, of keeping you busy & therefore thinking you’re achieving something. And while there may be small achievements along the wandering path, what do they really mean if they don’t move you in the direction of your purpose?
Hi.
I just wanted to say that your words here deeply resonate with me.
Strange things happen when we have something to work towards – I remembering returning from an adventure that was almost three years in the making and merely six months in duration in an awful slum of emptiness. I didn't have a carrot to work towards. It took me another six months after that I need that I needed another purpose, and then another four to find it. (I'm still not even sure if I've made up my mind, but I love my current options, just as I have loved many options before, even if they didn't play out). I love having these grand plans, because they give reason to the mundane and everything was worth it in the end.
Part of me know, as you mentioned, that we life surely needs a collective purpose, but I am a big believer the 'small moments' because that is when we are able to find ourselves, and our purpose.
I'm now going to have to go and read over your previous posts, I think you think like I think.
K
Thanks for reading, Kathleen. it's a hard balance between those small moments & a greater collective purpose, isn't it? I hope you continue to find reasons to enjoy the process of finding the carrot :)