May 28th. Wow. The year isn’t even half over and already it looks entirely different than I could have ever predicted.
In January I had every intention of sitting down and writing some stories for my life in 2010. And although I thought about them a lot, right now I’m glad I didn’t write them down. Because God has done a number on my heart since then and most of those stories would be obsolete and quite frankly unimportant to me, stories I wouldn’t even want to pursue. But since this year started, I feel like God has placed new stories in my heart. But this time, they aren’t mine, they are His for me. And that makes all difference.
As I write this I am still having an argument in my head as to whether or not I’m going to write stories for my life for the rest of 2010 (and beyond). Part of me just wants to get them down on paper and out of my head in order to process them. Part of me is afraid to put them down on paper because what if they don’t happen or they become obsolete. And the other, bigger, part of me is afraid to put them down because putting them down on paper means being held accountable for them, it means they’re real. And as exciting as that is it can also be completely terrifying at times. Because I know that the stories that God has placed on my heart are not going to be easy, they’re not going to be comfortable, they’re not going to be safe, and I like all of those things much more than I like risk.
But, let the risk taking begin. The stories are scheduled to post next week…even if in very rough draft form.
On a side note, “thank you” to those who have been a part of my bigger life story. I continue to be humbled and amazed at the people and relationships God has used to bless my life. Conversations I have had over the last five months have forever changed me. And I love that.